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# Unhelping Hands
- URL: https://thesparrowpress.com/unhelping-hands/
- Published: 2026-05-23T17:27:09.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-30T10:58:25.000Z
- Author: Caleb Swenson
- Tags: Newsletter, #Migrated-1793357894408, #Import 2026-10-30 10:58

Borrowing an egg from a neighbor, swinging by without a text or a call, helping someone jump their car. All of these things used to feel so normal, without hesitation. If we needed help we weren't afraid to ask for it and we weren't afraid to offer it either. Now most of us don't even know our neighbors, and we definitely don't have the relationship to ask for something.

We’re given countless opportunities every day to help others, but most times one comes our way we shrivel. Perhaps we’ll be judged for trying to lend a hand, taken advantage of, or even the person we’re thinking about helping will be offended that we offered. We’ve all had this feeling.

What is it about modern society that has made it hard to help?

A study on social trust done by The Pew Research Center in 2025 shows that 34% of Americans believe most people can be trusted. Down from 46% in 1972\. Put differently, two thirds of Americans don’t trust other people. 

So why?

Perhaps we’ve been burned. We’re afraid to lend a hand because it's become normal to be taken advantage of. You’ve worked up the courage to roll your window down and give that homeless man a few bucks. He takes it, then asks for the $20 he caught a glimpse of. He says he’s hungry, hasn't eaten in days. You give it to him, and by the time the light turns green you see him walk into a liquor store.

Our walls are up.

Then there’s the current events tab you have open on your phone. Everything we read on major news outlets is meant to separate us. Creating an idea that if someone’s different they’re dangerous. We don't see a neighbor in need and think we should help. We see a political adversary that might be a threat, or we’re afraid we’ll come off as one. The worry that a simple “Need some help?” would unravel an outburst keeps us apart. 

Yet we still want to help others.

The interesting thing about people is that the whole time you’ve been reading this, you've been thinking about when you last helped someone. Not when someone last helped you.

Some people naturally feel connected and valued. Others work their entire lives to get a taste of these feelings. Someone walking up and paying for your coffee can make all the difference. Even on a good day you leave that interaction not only feeling full, but also thinking how you could do the same. Maybe it's not buying a coffee for someone specifically, but doing good in general. It's a spiral that's been spinning the wrong way.

Next time that hesitation shows up maybe it's worth lending a hand anyway. Kindness may require risk at times, but someone has to go first.

The chicken, or the borrowed egg.